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  • nadiyahpeacock

Surrendering Control, Letting Go and Embracing Change

Updated: Sep 19, 2022

Change is the only constant in life. Change isn't always comfortable, but it's necessary for growth. If you're anything like me, then you like to have some type of control over your life. This isn't a bad thing, but you must know when it's time to surrender and pivot. Having faith that every step will work out for your highest good is the key.

I've been through many changes in my childhood, especially in regards to my home and family life. As I started entering young adulthood, I thought I would have more control over my life. That was somewhat true. The last 6 or so years were filled with plenty of changes and immense growth. Majority of the changes were far beyond my control, but they were all necessary. College was a major turning point in my life because it was an opportunity for me to start exploring my interests and working towards my future. I already had many goals that I couldn't wait to accomplish and I already chose my profession. Since childhood, I knew I wanted to become a pediatrician. I've always loved math and science, and my teachers were always supportive and encouraging. I knew that I've always wanted to help people in some capacity, and I loved working with children. One of my favorite Rugrats episodes was "Doctor Susie". I loved that Susie's mom, Lucy, was a doctor and Susie was inspired by her. Lucy fixed one of Susie's broken toys, and Susie asked her mom if she would teach her how to be a doctor. Lucy showed Susie how to fix her toys, and once Susie got around the other children, she began fixing all of their broken toys. Everyone was impressed by Susie's "doctor skills". She wore her white apron, stethoscope and head mirror like the true doctor she was. I also remember having two Black female doctors growing up, and I thought, "Wow, if they could do it, so can I." One of my goals was to become a pediatrician and work in Black communities. I also wanted to start my own practice and achieve many other things. Yes, I had big dreams back then, and I still do. I started college as a Biology major, and by the time I started taking my math and science courses, I just didn't enjoy it. I only really liked one class, and it was my biology lab class. My professor was a great instructor, and I would attend his office hours often. That was the main class I looked forward to because I actually felt like I was learning and doing well. In majority of my other classes, I felt like I wasn't grasping the material enough to succeed. As someone who was used to getting A's, this definitely took a major toll on me. I was clearly unhappy, but I wanted to stick it out because I didn't want to feel like I was giving up. At that point, I had tried everything. I attended office hours, tutoring sessions, study groups, etc. I just wasn't passionate about it anymore and it was time to make a change.

After a conversation led by mom, I finally decided to switch my major and pick up a minor. I started taking courses that I was passionate about, and I was noticeably happier. I took many Africology courses, Literature courses, Political Science courses, Law courses, Spanish courses, Women's Studies courses, and many more. Changing my major also brought me closer to writing, which is what I was hoping for. I wrote many great papers on topics that I'm passionate about. During my senior year, I had the opportunity to present two of my research papers at a conference. I was excited and I received great feedback. One of my professors awarded me with the Best Capstone Paper Award for my senior capstone paper. It's the longest paper I've ever written and also my favorite paper that I've ever written. It was pretty funny because I originally complained about writing it because it had to be at least 30 pages long. Other students complained also, and he shortened it to a 20- page minimum. I ended up with 29 pages, which wasn't as hard to reach as I originally thought! I had to do tons of research, and I enjoyed it because I was learning so much as I was writing the paper.

I remember having a conversation about changing my major and career with a friend. I remember saying, "My plans changed, but my passion didn't." I think this is so important to keep in mind because there will be many times when we have to pivot in life. As long as you're following your true purpose and passions, the opportunities will follow you. Life is about exploring, growing, learning and trying new things as much as possible. As long as you're in alignment with your purpose, then that's all that really matters. When I was still in college, I did a mentorship program and I worked with girls from kindergarten to high school. I didn't necessarily plan on doing it forever, but it was still connected to my purpose, so it was fulfilling. As long as you know your "why", your "how" will follow.

My childhood dream of going to medical school and becoming a pediatrician is over, but I still have many big aspirations. They're actually still related to health, wellness and the Black community. I'll be helping people in a different capacity. Like I said earlier, my plans changed, but my passion didn't.

Life moves a lot smoother when you surrender control. I do believe that God has a greater plan for our lives, and having faith is important. Surrendering control isn't always easy, especially when you have your mind set on how you want your life to be. It's okay to let go of certain plans and go with the flow at times. As long as you're following your purpose, you'll be led in the right direction. I believe that answers will always come at the right time. Everything works out at the right time.

Letting go is a huge component of embracing change and surrendering control. We must let go of what no longer serves us in order to make room for what does. Letting go is empowering. Letting go is freeing up space. If something is doing more harm than good, then it must be removed. Something better will take its place in due time. This goes for habits, thoughts, mindsets, people, jobs, routines, etc. We also must let go of pain. Pain is supposed to teach us, but we can't let it overstay and consume us. It must be transmuted. Pain can be heavy and healing isn't linear, so taking it a little step at a time is necessary. Further, we must let go of bags that weren't meant for us to carry in the first place. This includes generational trauma, patterns and ways of thinking. Also, letting go of pain that we may have absorbed from our connections with others. Changing, letting go and healing all contribute to our ultimate growth.

We've just entered the season of fall, and fall symbolizes change and the act of letting go. The temperature is dropping, leaves are changing colors and falling from trees. It's also a time for harvest, prosperity and abundance.

Cheers to embracing nature's cycles and welcoming change and growth!

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